That kept me protected and honest with myself but it costs more

Found myself standing alone, cuz I’m different

Or bcz I don’t accept it and not a fan of the noise
And that shit ain’t easy, cuz I got used to it

Found myself wanting to be unknown by most and deeply known by one

And I’m starting to think my standards are like…unreal
But I am real!

It’s loneliness yes!
But it’s also selectiveness

Idk if I’ll ever be found..

Do I want to be found?
And do I need to he Visible to be found??

I like to disappear, I like Silence.

I don’t know what to think anymore
And thoughts are exhausting me lately
But I also don’t want to let it go

The thing is just..I am not willing to lose myself to feel less lonely but I also secretly crave someone to find me, truly see me, the real me yk!!

"لَيْسَ لِلْإِنْسَانِ إِلَّا مَا قَضَى اللهُ وَقَدَّرَ
لَيْسَ لِلْمَخْلُوقِ تَدْبِيرٌ بَلِ اللهُ الْمُدَبِّرُ"

I miss my grandma sm
يا رحيم ارحم جدتي واغفر لها واجمعني بها في جنّاتِ النّعيم.